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In reality, things are usually much with, and one of wife biggest things that guys seem to struggle with when it comes to marriage — if pop culture and Sex searches are to be believed — is married sex. Add things sex bills, kids and career woes to the mix, and love have a decidedly non-sexy scenario lined up. This person probably sees you at your best and worst, day in and day with. So how do you make married sex … well, sexy? How do you make it fun, spontaneous, naughty and exciting all in one? Every couple is different, and different things will work for different couples. To help narrow it love, here are 10 generalized tips for amping up the sex wife your marriage — both in terms of quality and in terms of quantity — to keep your life as a husband a happy one.
Got a sex Write to Deidre here. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. You can also with message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. My life is love of control. We have been married for eight years and wife two boys aged seven and five.
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I love my wife and our sex life is great but I am also sleeping with two other women

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Week 1: Twice. Week 2: Once. Week 3: Once. Week 4: Twice. Total: Six times. Even more thrillingly, Vanessa actually makes the first move — I cannot remember the last time that happened.

I spend all the next day fantasising about what will happen later, but after a couple of glasses of wine we both collapse into bed and fall asleep. You bet! I wake up in the mood when the alarm goes off at 6. Stacey was really excited at the prospect of the experiment and being able to make love to his wife more often. Stacey thinks that keeping a diary has been great for the couple, putting sex at the forefronts of their minds and not allowing it to fall off the agenda.

The next two nights Vanessa is out with friends. I suspect Vanessa is a little frustrated, and that feels great after years of pestering her for sex. We finally make love a week after the iron incident. Keeping a diary has been great for putting sex at the forefront of our minds and not allowing it to slip off our busy agendas. Vanessa was surprised Stacey didn't take more advantage of the situation and was astonished one night when she propositioned him and he turned her down.

I love feeling close to my wife and, best of all, knowing that she now actively wants to make love to me, rather than just doing it to appease me. He was feeling tired. We decide to give it another go the following night but, after a couple of drinks, sleep becomes a far more appealing prospect for both of us. But when I invite Stacey to join me in bed the next evening, his face lights up. Sex twice in one week is unheard of for us. The second week starts with me having a night away.

Stacey is raring to go when I return. Vanessa feels like the experiment has really helped her and Stacey connect as a couple both physically and emotionally - reminding them that they're not just parents but also lovers. I seduce him in the living room by the light of the twinkling Christmas fairy lights.

Rebecca Morris-Jackson, 40, a legal secretary, and husband Paul, 35, a chef, live in Bromley, South-East London, with their two sons, Charlie, nine months, and Jack, 21 months.

Rebecca would like sex every night while Paul is satisfied making love twice a week. Week 1: three times. Week 2: five times. Week 3: twice. Week 4: six times. Total: 16 times. While I spend the first day excited about the prospect of guaranteed sex, plans are ruined when Jack is awake from Rebecca, 40, would like sex every night, while her husband Paul, 35, would be satisfied with making love just once a week.

The following night, Paul looks resigned when I start kissing him, though he seems to enjoy himself afterwards. The night after that, realising he might take some persuading, I slip into a silky nightie that usually works. While many women would want to catch up on sleep, sex actually gives me energy, so we make love that night. Rebecca says that while many women would want to catch up on their sleep after a busy week, sex gives her lots of energy.

My period slows things down a bit in week three. It pays off. The sex is very passionate. Entering the final week of the experiment Rebecca realises that she's missing the chase and her and Paul's love life isn't as exciting as it once was.

Of course I oblige, under the terms of our experiment, but after the first few nights I feel a bit like a performing seal. Once Jack is better, Bec is back on form. While Paul really enjoys it once he gets going, he doesn't like feeling pressured into having sex, he feels like 'sex should be fun, not a chore'.

I was so upset that I cried myself to sleep. Paul Whitney, 36, runs a motor repair business by day and is a security officer by night. Wife Katie, 26, is a carer by day and waitress by night. Paul has three children from a previous relationship and the couple, from Bridlington, East Yorks, want a baby of their own but, due to their long working hours, they can go for weeks without making love.

Week 1: twice. Week 2: once. Week 3: three times. Week 4: three times. Total: Nine times. Then, on the fifth day I suggest an early night. But neither of our hearts is in it. Katie, 26, and Paul, 36 want a child of their own but due to their long working hours sometimes they go for weeks at a time without having sex.

I move into the spare bedroom. But on the Friday night of the second week we meet up at the pub after work. I feel so happy when she kisses me back and we head upstairs.

The sex is great, so much more loving and considerate than the last time. At the start of the third week we share a bath before making love. We have a meal out with friends on Saturday evening and flirt with one another the whole time. At the start our last week, Katie very sweetly has dinner ready for me when I get home from the garage so we have time in the bedroom before I have to head out to my evening job. Tessina, Ph. That brings her close to you. After all, women find lots of non-sexual things sexy , and a guy who takes care of basic chores and responsibilities ranks high on the list.

Making stress reduction a priority in the marriage can not only help those feelings of arousal flow more freely, but your spouse will be more likely to appreciate your focus on helping them get unblocked.

She wants to be closer and more intimate with you. You solve this like you solve any other marital problem — by putting the work in … together. The next step? A sex therapist or marriage counsellor can offer a range of support and tools to improve relationship satisfaction and fulfillment.

A professional may be able to help you to more clearly identify, understand and communicate your own needs, desires and boundaries. Among many other things, they can also help you work through any shame or insecurity you have around sex.

Despite feeling that sex should be organic and spontaneous, sometimes, busy schedules take over. The reality is that sometimes, you just have to buckle down and put time aside in your calendar for sex. Instead, it just means you recognize that without some concerted planning effort, it can be easy for sex to slip by the wayside when other, seemingly more pressing demands are piling up.

You may no longer be beautiful people, but you can have a lot more love, sex and fun [ One way you can make your spouse feel sexy and special? Bring a little bit of romance back into your relationship. The relaxed anticipation produced by the right music, soft lights and sweet words makes an ideal atmosphere for intimacy, which leads to verbal and physical affection.

As well, simply making time to remind your partner that you find them attractive, arousing or sexy can go a long way towards helping them feel that way themselves. Dealing with enough experiences like that would make anyone associate sex with frustration, embarrassment or awkwardness — and then start finding excuses to avoid it. That might mean working out and getting back in shape, coming to terms with how you look and loving it regardless or a combination thereof.

But being able to feel genuinely good about yourself can definitely have a big impact on your sex life. One of the best things you can do for your sex life, especially if your spouse is a woman, is to amp up the role that foreplay plays in the bedroom.

But especially for heterosexual women, responsive desire, which is arousal via responding to stimuli, is much more reliable and how things often work. Foreplay wakes up a dormant desire in your partner. While trying fresh things like kink or BDSM play can mean unlocking a world of sexual potential, the important thing is to build on what you already like.

We are very open with each other and can talk about anything. She loves the attention and the men or women she gets to have, and I love having [a wife who is like] a very hot porn star in my home. I'm her biggest fan. Follow Richard Greenhill on Twitter. This feature was originally published in July and has been updated. Type keyword s to search.

Today's Top Stories. Twitter reacts to the JVN cover. The first winter Love Island trailer is here. Rihanna is finally back on the red carpet. Khloe Kardashian hurt by Caitlyn Jenner comments. Adut Akech is 's Model of the Year. Getty Images. Read these cuckold wife stories from IRL men Milkos. Cuckolding is a form of consensual non-monogamy Carol Yepes Getty Images.

We both love sex, so it adds to our sex life. Related Story. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. More From Sex stories. What is sex like after birth? How to have the best casual sex and hookups. Inside London fetish sex club Torture Garden. She broke up with the father of her child, who always put her down, but is now with a guy who is very controlling.

I love my daughter so much and I have spoken to her but she says her life is better without me in it. This man sounds abusive but your daughter probably feels defensive about the relationship. You can find ongoing support at Grandparents Plus grandparentsplus. My fella is I am 28 and have a five-year-old son from a previous relationship who thinks the world of him.

My boyfriend started to spend more time in the bookies and lost his job and our house due to gambling. Get support through Adfam who help families affected by drink and drug problems adfam. But their chats should be friendly not flirty, the sort he would be perfectly happy to share with you. She can be quite adventurous in the bedroom and I think involving someone else will make our love- making more exciting.

Or should I just accept things as they are? Treating his family makes your partner feel valued and loved. But there are plenty of couples out there who are doing the deed five, six, seven or more times a week. We recently asked married HuffPost readers who have sex every night barring things like sickness, business trips or other extenuating circumstances, of course how it has improved their lives and relationships. Below are 13 good reasons to get it on with your spouse on a near daily basis.

It provides some much-needed couple time. We are parents to a toddler, so when we lay him down for bed each night, we can then spend the rest of the night expressing how we feel about each other physically. Having sex allows us to be passionate, to show affection and we enjoy pleasing each other.

It leads to more PDA outside of the bedroom. We hold hands a lot, he slaps my butt when I'm working in the kitchen, I nuzzle his neck when he's working on research papers at the desk. It can be a workout if you do it right. It gets you out of your head for a little while. It builds trust. It's a way to connect without speaking. It brings couples together in a way that other things don't.

What I mean is that it promotes togetherness, snuggling and cuddling, and it's a way to connect without words. You might end up arguing less.

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